oh, i see.

the ache of reality is setting in and i can see that all my want was for naught.  your foresight astounds as i watch you make preparations for months to come and i collapse internal as i try to deny what is only too clear.  fearful i request a court but dutifully am denied time after time repeating.  the smallest details are scrutinized until there is nothing more to grasp as all has become apparent.  you don't want me. did you ever? perhaps distance will quiet this ache in my chest and this constant leak in my mind... could it ever, would it ever, will it over and over and over. i wait patiently for all of this to truly weigh me down as it will set the words free, and nothing would be of more calm excitement to me.