whining

sometimes i wish i still had someone who i knew would be there no matter what. i guess to an extent i still do. i could call him and he would come... but it wouldn't be the same. the stress that weighs down on me in his presence and the tiptoeing that i feel i must do creates an anxiety that i'd much rather do without. no, i wish i had one of those friendships that i see in movies where could call and say something like, "hey girl, get your ass over here and eat some chinese with me." unfortunately i don't feel as though i have such a rapport.  


i am thrilled, though, at all the prospects that are on the horizon. come spring break, i'll be heading to NC with alanna and becka to go see afi (siete!!) with some opening bands who i do hope are as engaging as gallows were.  it'll be a mini roadtrip that will span over three days. i'm looking forward to hitting the road with lady friends again and maybe taking some photos a la alec soth or robert frank. i need to get my inspiration back, especially with this being my last year in the photo department before embarking on my own little adventure for success. spring break will also see me off to colorado to visit khaleelah. i'm very excited about this as well. i've never been to the big CO and i hear there is a boatload of vegan food waiting for me. schwing!


for graduation, my mom is taking me on a cruise which i never would have dreamed would happen. it's funny for two reasons. one, the topic came up rather casually between my mother and i. i'm not even sure what started it at this point, but i think i jokingly mentioned her taking me on one for graduation and she agreed! also, it's a disney cruise. when chet and i were engaged we were looking at disney vacations as honeymoon options. it's so strange to think that i was engaged.  sometimes i forget, i know a lot of my friends do, and i often feel bad about that fact.  i'd rather forget than be the one hung up on it though, that is a fact.  


i'm hoping the weather will warm up soon.  the snow is really getting me down and i'd like to go on some excursions with ashleigh. we want to go on some little hunts for abandoned theme parks/mental institutions. i appreciate that she's not afraid to fail, because as far as road trips go, half the fun is getting to your destination and even if it's not what you'd expect, it's all about perspective. when alec soth mentioned being on the open road during his lecture, i really began to regret not taking more pictures and making more stops on my road trip with khaleelah and carri, but these are mistakes that i will remedy in the coming months.